I’ve reached an age where this makes me smile. I was never good at following my heart, I was uber-responsible. It was easy to put myself last. I could rationalize why I could wait, do without, or walk away. I’m talking out-of-balance, responsible for everything, including other people’s problems, and I was miserable.
I’m at a point now, where I’m searching my heart to find what I love….but I want to be smart about it so I don’t get out-of-balance on the other side.
I’m grateful for the experiences I’ve had, and the lessons learned along the way.
I’m ready for my heart to start talking to me, and engaging my brain to make sure that I am fully balanced.
Last weekend’s trip to Leaky to ride the sisters was awesome. We had a lovely time.
Getting ready to head out on Saturday morning, hubby announces “I’m just wearing my cap, I want to really enjoy this.”
I’m thinking….new road, unfamiliar place, lots of turns and twists…this equals helmet! I like my helmet, I even look cute in my helmet, usually at dusk or near dark, but now-a-days I take cute when I can.
More thoughts run through my head “the closest hospital is in San Antonio?” ” What if we fall, what if someone hits us!” I feel my joy and peace draining out of me like a flood. One minute I’m in happy expectation over a beautiful day outside in this fabulous setting, and POOF, the fear sucked all the good feelings away.
What to do? Palms sweating, heart palpitating, risk analysis running through my brain….this has to stop. Where is the trust in my man? Where is the trust in my God? Where did my peace go?
I hate fear. I hate being stupid. I really hate losing my peace!
So I had to negotiate some things out with my husband to start getting my peace back. I want to step out and go without a helmet too! First, I get to be the navigator. Second, I get to say when to slow down. Third we have to be able to stop and take pictures.
We head out sans helmet, and I chose a pink head wrap to keep my bangs from beating my eyes to death. That was short lived. It blew off somewhere on 337 between Leakey and Vanderpool.
Hubby decided we could stop at the Hog Pen to pick up a Do-rag. I’ve never tried one, so what-the-hey, I got one. It lasted much better than the pink wrap.
Riding without the helmet was a really a good experience. Would I recommend it? That depends.
Where are you riding? How experienced are you or your driver? Where is your peace?
We were in a motorcycle place. We were on Farm to Market roads. My husband is very experienced, and committed to my safety and comfort. He in no way pressured me to leave the helmet behind.
Because I was given the freedom to choose, I took time to reestablish my peace, pray, and I had a great time. I couldn’t let fear and panic steal my peace. It would have ruined the whole trip.
So funny end to the whole “head wear” saga. I had just bought the pink head wrap to cover up my helmet hair when we ride with friends. I really wanted it back, but if I couldn’t find it, I hoped someone would. So I sent up my request to The Lord. We finished up our last ride Sunday morning, and we were heading back to the cabin on 337, and what do we see in the middle of the road? Yep, there it was, my pink Harley Davidson head wrap. I could only say “thank you Jesus”, while my husband muttered about me being spoiled. I just smiled. It is supreme joy to know Jesus loves me, protects me, and hears even my smallest requests.
I think I will remember this lesson always. Follow peace, keep it simple, and never ever give into fear.