Self Talk

My gal pal Kimberly and I were chatting the other day. I made a disparaging remark about myself, and she HIT me!

After my shock, she shook her finger in my face and said, “don’t talk about my friend that way.”

I got the point, and started thinking about the impact of negative self talk.

It’s so important to speak positive things over ourselves. If we don’t honor our own self, how can anyone else honor us?

I thought about how many times I’ve berated myself. “Stupid….ignorant….you know better……get you s#it straight…..what’s wrong with you….why can’t you, why don’t you…what happened to you……you have gotten so fat, so old, where did you go?”

I saw a meme the other day that said ” what if every nasty word you ever said appeared on your face?”

So, in making peace with myself I started calculating how much I would owe myself if I collected $10 for every negative remark. It would be a whole lot of money.

Today I’m so grateful for reminders to be kind to myself and to others.

What are you grateful for today?

Naughty list

The Christmas threats of being on the naughty list! Be Good or Santa will put coal in your stocking.

I have to admit to being naughty this year, so I decided to go shopping for myself! I want to cover all my bases.

If all else fails, treat yourself. That might be my new focus for 2018.

Happy Holidays all!

Great quote


If you aren’t taking care of yourself, who is?

Being busy isn’t a badge of honor.  Being too busy to develop your own gifts, talents, skill, or even your own peace doesn’t help anyone, and harms you.

What have you done to take care of yourself this week?

A little self care

I’ve had my hair cut twice since April of 2015.

Mainly in an effort to economize while unemployed, but also, I wondered how long I could grow it before it became an uncontrollable mess.

The hairdresser I’ve seen for the last 6 years is a doll, and we have a great relationship.  I would see her every couple of months, and to not have my hair done was a bit of a downer for me, but it was something that I had to consider in our new budget.

The first ‘hair cut’, I cut off my own ponytail.  That didn’t quite accomplish what I had planned.

The second time, I had to get that fixed, and was too embarrassed to go back to my regular gal, Lucy.  She would have given me a ration of crap over cutting off my own ponytail.

Today, I got really lucky.  I called my old salon to book an appointment with Lucy.  Not only was she still there, but she had just had a cancellation.

So after over a year of not caring for my hair, I got a lovely cut and a real hair style from my friend, Lucy.

Ta Da!

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I’m terrible at selfies.  This was take 28, of 39.

Self care is a new practice for me.  After 15 months of making do, taking the time and spending the money for a salon cut was so worth it.  It was great to catch up with Lucy, and spend some time getting taking care of was really, really nice.

Sit up straight, and Don’t Hold Your Breath!

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image credit fit woman.com

Do you ever hear those reminders ‘internally’?  Sit up straight.  Don’t slouch.  Chew your food.  Breath.  Relax.  It’s OK.  You’ve got this.

At church they have told us, so many times, you give out of your overflow.

So how do we ‘overflow’?

It comes from having enough on the inside.

Have you taken the time to invest in yourself so that you are full?  Are you fully full?

I used to take those reminders like, Sit up straight, as negative.  Now I’ve changed the tone of voice in my head so that I don’t sound like a nag.

Now I hear the nurturing words as reminders that sitting up straight makes me look thinner, and gives my spine alignment so that all my nerves are free to send the important messages they need to send out.  Sitting up straight gives all my internal organs room to function.  Slouching crowds my organs, and pinches nerve pathways impeding my health.

Chewing my food allows my body to absorb all the nutrients in the food so that I can perform at an optimum level physically.

Breathe!  Well, howdy that’s an important one.  When I was a child, I would hold my breath while concentrating on a task.  I passed out while practicing a difficult piano piece, and bonked my head good on the keyboard.  I passed out playing a tennis match I wanted to win.  I’ve passed out studying for tests.  Breathing is important, and I have to focus on the act of Breathing in 2, 3, 4 and letting it out slow 2, 3, 4, 5.  Automatic function, my butt.  My stubbornness and focus over-rides the automatic breathing, and the results are less than fun.

It’s OK, you’ve got this.  Do you encourage yourself?  When uncertainty or fear come up what plays in your head.  Are you your own cheerleader when the world is tearing at your confidence?

It’s OK, when things don’t go right.  Try again.  You’ve got this, because you take the time to learn the lesson.  I don’t quit till I win.  That’s one thing I decided 10 years ago, and there have been times when it’s taken quite a few attempts to achieve the goal, but I keep going.  The goals have to be very important.  I don’t put myself on the line this way for anything frivolous.

It’s taken me a very long time to stop beating myself up for not achieving immediately, not being the super star, not getting the job, not being able to provide for my family myself, having to ask for help, even just relying on my husband.  I’m not fully free from the self doubt and worry that comes from not getting where I’ve visualized myself to be, but I’m not as bad as I used to be.

Today, I’m taking a few minutes to celebrate where I am.  It’s not where I want to be yet, but I’m not where I used to be.  Progress is important in self care.  It’s a great day to just be thankful for where I am.

What do you do to be fully, full?  How do you encourage yourself?

Is your tank empty or full?

  
Photo credit:  fit woman.com

I got hit with this question from two different sources in one day.  Repeated messages tend to get my attention.

This makes sense to me, as I have been drained.  Not just of physical energy, but mental and emotional energy too.

We worked in the heat again this weekend.  I knew I was whipped when I thanked my husband, and was supremely grateful for the makeshift “potty”….Aka Latrine he built using a toilette seat, landscape timbers, and cinder blocks over a deep hole in the ground.  He did a tent- like privacy cover using a blue tarp.  This city girl has come a long, long way.  The frogs jumping in and out of the cement water trough a few feet away…didn’t even phase me.  I almost took a picture of it I was so thankful…..I’ve come a very long way, indeed.

When I got home late Sunday night I said a long prayer of thanksgiving for hot running water, a toilette that flushes, air conditioning, and my bed.

Monday was a long day of interviews and research into the prospective employers, Zumba, grocery shopping, cooking, walking the neglected dogs, and an online seminar.  

Today, I’m drained.  I’ve spent myself fully.  All of the physical, emotional, intellectual reserves I thought I had are used up, drained and gone.

So for me, it’s time to unplug.  With the last of my creativity, I wanted to post something encouraging.  We all face times when we have to fill our tanks.  We are most effective when we operate out of our overflow.

If any of you are finding yourselves drained, please share how you recharge, how you care for yourself to make sure you are operating at your best.  What works for you?

Until I return, be good to yourself and to each other!