Flat

There are times when I put myself out there, then I regret the emotional robbing, when I realize I should have held myself back.

There are vampires out there that are generational. They’ve counted on their heritages then mock you when you consider yourself their equals.

They are empty sacks, and unworthy.

When will I ever learn?

Not changing my clothes

A couple weeks ago we went to see ELO.  https://wendysharesathought.com/2018/08/11/elo-the-jeff-lynn-tour

Wardrobe……clothes…..decisions…….being a girl……..

It was a great night, a great concert, a much appreciated time away from work, house, dogs, bees, etc.  There was just one little hitch that made made me a little upset with myself.

I got myself ready to go to a Rock Concert.  I hadn’t been to one in quite a few years, and I wanted to look, ‘rockin’. So I got myself together, and came out to join my husband and son and got this:

And this:

And Silence…….until my son nudged his father, and said ‘way to go dad’. ‘Say something nice quick.’

He couldn’t. He didn’t.

It was a little too late at that point. I went and changed. Then I was mad at myself.

I should have worn what I wanted. Mainly because Boys are dumb.

That’s it for the mature assessment of the situation. 😆

Next time, I’m not changing.

Cheers to getting my confidence back.

My Over 50 Rockin Look. Ta da.

More change

It isn’t like I thought would be all roses.  But I didn’t think I’d lose them all.

I lost them all.

The last one met me yesterday to let me know they were going on without me…for the best for them.  They would be perpetually going on without me.

So, after they all bailed on me for our trip to the Dallas Arboretum.  Our original trip was for 10/15.  One by one. They all had a really lame excuse.  I continued to reach out.  To stay connected the last couple weeks.  I finally got a response.

The messenger was nervous.  Her hands shook.  They were moving on without me to the place I introduced them.  They are going next week, mid week, without me…to my place the Dallas Arboretum.  She felt a bit guilty for that, as it was my idea…but “so what”?

They would be continually moving on.  They had other priorities.  

I don’t know when I’ve lost so many people in such a short period of time….all women, all who were supposed to be my friends.  The ultimate result of “so what?”

There are days when I sincerely dislike women.  Groups of women who cling together instead of having individual thought. But how did This happen?   I thought I had a better insight, a better creep-o-meter?  

The unintended consequences of “so what”.

Today, I am grasping for gratitude.  So I go back to the basics.

I’m grateful for life and breath, a husband who loves me beyond measure, beautiful sons, bees, a new job.

So I send my former friends off with appreciation for supporting me over the last year.

I wish I still fit in, but I send you off with all my best. 

Onward we go.

For the man I love

Planning again.

We are planning again.

The spark of wonder at building our new life is as exciting as when we began.

We are not giving up what we have, by no means.

We are just starting a new chapter.

Cheers my love.

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Cheers to building our best. You and me, together.

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Doing my best

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Getting back into my routine…..I’m grateful and I am scared.

I’m doing my best, and learning along the way.

I’m grateful for husband, my sons, my dogs, my home, my job.

Cheers to learning. Cheers to making things work. Cheers to moving onward and upward.

Self empowerment

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It’s amazing how quickly people settle for status quo, then complain about their situation. Little do they realize the power to change things is in their own hands.

Don’t let fear of change make you stay where you are miserable. And for heaven sakes, if you don’t want to change, don’t make everyone around you miserable with your complaints.

Choose to be happy, and if that means change, then just do it. Life is too short to be miserable.

Onward and upward

Searching for the motivation in the midst of disappointment isn’t necessarily difficult. I’m over my surprise, and practicing the gratitude of letting go. Everyone has the right to their own choices, and I’m grateful that I too get to choose. My choices count, and I can go where I’m celebrated without rancor. I’m still disappointed that my radar and intuition failed me, but it stings less today.

It’s amazing what a good workout will do to help release some of the hurt.

I’m grateful today for the people who love me, who “get me”, and laugh with me over my quandaries.

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There is no foo…

There is no fool like an old fool….crap! I hate being the old fool.

It’s humbling when I come to the realization that what I have perceived is not real, the people I really liked, were not forthright, and that I had no clue as to the duplicity.  Nothing on the radar, no ‘gut’ instinct, just a stupid happy grin on my face thinking everything is fine.  I’m picking myself up off the ground, humbled, humiliated, and not sure what to do from here.  Wow….just wow.  What is real?  What is real?  Where did my radar go?  

Problem? What Problem?

Problem?  What Problem

The past is the past

Hmmmm…….I’m publish challenged for some reason. Time to focus, and this time not on the problem.

So here I am again in the wee hours setting my mind to concentrate on what I’m grateful for, not all the things I’ve done wrong today, yesterday, last week, in the last decade.

I’m thankful for friends. I’m thankful my oldest son is coming in for a visit. I’m thankful my baby is graduating from high school on Friday. We have so much to look forward. This will be a time of celebration, food, and family.

I’m thankful I can learn something new, like how to publish correctly on Word Press and not lose all my ramblings and musings. After all, the first draft of this post really rocked, and I can’t find it! It was gone in a poof, or in this case a ‘click’ of the mouse.

The future is bright my friends! Go hug someone, give a smile, maybe a little encouragement. Be nicer than you feel like being. But above all, don’t look backwards. That’s not the direction you are going.