Goodbye to my mother

It is the end.

The 4 year battle with leiomyosarcoma is over. Diagnosed at stage 4 with masses in the abdomen, lungs, and brain, we have finished, and my mother is home.

Radiation, chemo, surgery, and experimental studies at MD Anderson.

At 2:10 this morning, my mother let go of this earthly realm, and went home.

One thing that she and I could agree on was her winning options. “Philippians 1:22-23 But if I live on in the flesh, this will mean fruit from my labor; yet what I shall choose I cannot tell. For I am hard-pressed between the two, having a desire to depart and be with Christ, which is far better. ”

We agreed when she was diagnosed that either way; healing, testimony and ministry, or going to heaven, she wins. There is no loss when death has been defeated by Jesus finished work. Her Peace is now complete, and I can see her in my future.

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So my dear friends, as I go through the social conventions of death, burial, and holidays, please send me your prayers and best thoughts, as I hold my head up amongst the wolves of convention who don’t know me, as I say “thank you” to the religious seekers, as I suffer the condemnation of those that don’t share my view on death, Jesus, or boundaries….send loving thoughts my way.

I didn’t share my mothers hobbies, habits, tastes, preferences, friends, church, or opinions on what “truth” means in communication between human beings related to one another….but she is the only human being who gave me birth and life, and taught me every important lesson on what not to do to your family, how not to treat your children, and to have standards without apology.

I chose the red dress for my mom’s final viewing. I chose the upbeat songs. I send her off with a waive of my hand to the sky, knowing that she isn’t here, she is enjoying heaven, and I will see her again someday, and we will finally have a good relationship.

Thanks mom.

Floating

I don’t know if I was dreaming, or what you would call it last night.

I felt myself floating in the most beautiful still water. The air was warm and very sweet. I could smell flowers, grass, and earth. The sense of relaxation and peace was over the top. I remember breathing in and out slowly. I rolled to dive beneath the water, and enjoyed watching the bubbles from my exhalation slowly float to the surface. Following those lazy bubbles back up, I continued floating looking up at the night sky, blinking at how black and deep the sky looked. The stars appeared in riotous effect. Millions upon millions of brilliant points of light blanketing the heavens and reflecting in the waters. Velvet black of night, the backdrop for the brilliance of each unique star was a sight I will never forget.

I floated, suspended in comfort, admiring the beauty created by the heavens.

When I came back to myself….I fully expected to be drenched from my swim.

Jeremiah 33:22

I’m grateful to Pinterest for having such a great number of pictures, this one might give you an idea.

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