That Pull

That pull in my belly drawing me toward something….

It wakes me at night from my dreaming.

It startles my thinking, like a groan down deep.

And keeps me from my sleeping.

It steals the peace from my mind.

It’s plaintive crying unceasing.

I set the kettle and steep the tea.

It will take some time for it to release me.

Full moons, inner werewolves, and weepiness

I wake on the morn of the full moon….weepy, shaky, and jittery with the feeling that something is coming.

The bad dreams leave a slimy residue in my mind that coffee just can’t seem to wash away.

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I read for a bit, and the feeling continues.  

So I grab my husband and drag him to the bedroom.

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He’s happy, I’m still shaky, and the anticipation, the high alert knowing that something is coming will not leave.

I haven’t tried punching anyone in the face.  That might be bad.  I’m thankful I haven’t lost all judgement.

I don’t want to go back to bed since the dreams won’t leave me, so I will prepare myself for all eventualities, and blame the moon for her gravity.

The giddy charm of Spam

I really don’t know why I go to my admin site and read these things, I should just just delete them.  Some of them are just done, but some of them are funny.

But since my Latrine story, the spam has been hilarious:

submitted on 2015/08/11 at 9:22 pm
you never see on TVBehind every glittering NFL game on television is a world of happy players who reside inCalifornia. The allegations herein, except as to the Plaintiffs, are based on information argue that “this” is football (insert Tim Allen grunt here) and nothing is going to change game, so we know with him you’ve got size and speed, toughness, quickness, and you better

That’s me, I’ve got the size and the speed for the NFL. 5’4″ and a certain number that will remain undisclosed.  I’m still a modestly vain southern belle.

Submitted on 2015/08/19 at 9:02 pm
The root of your writing whilst sounding reasonable initially, did not really settle very well with me after some time. Somewhere throughout the sentences you actually were able to make me a believer but only for a very short while. I however have got a problem with your leaps in logic and one would do well to help fill in all those breaks. When you actually can accomplish that, I will undoubtedly be amazed.

Flattery, it’s truly the way to my heart.  My desire has never been to impress anyone, or make anyone believe anything.  Me and my ‘leaping logic’ we will keep on keeping on.

The FUTURE challenge

future

My dearest buddy Rob from the VPub has nominated me for something fun!

He’s a great blogger, has wonderful music posted both original, and other artists.  His blog is witty, entertaining, interactive, social, and I’m so happy I was introduced to him in this blogosphere.

For the Future Challenge the rules are as follows:

Rules:
• Thank the bloggers who nominated you. Thank you, Rob!
• Link back to the challenge creator, Dreams and Movie Screens so she can track your progress.
• Share 5 things about your future (jobs, kids, marriage, travel etc). Then one day you can look back and find out how psychic you really are.
• Tag 5 bloggers and put them up to the challenge.

5 things about my future.

  1.  My future is very bright, but uncertain right now for my profession.  I’ve always worked, I like to work, and I will work again.  I’m not sure if that will be as a bee keeper, honey producer, or as a check out clerk at the local grocery store.  Who knows, I might start a serious blog for income?
  2. My husband and I are focused on where we will go after retirement, and we bought some land a couple hours from any City.  We will raise bees, and see how that will impact us either as a hobby or a business.
  3. My children are grown, and I’m looking forward to grandkids someday.  When we build our house in the country, it’s going to have a cool bunk room for the grand babies, a play area with rope swings, 4 wheelers to ride, pond to fish, and a place where the whole family can congregate together.
  4. Someday in the near future my husband and I want to travel to the Home Countries; The Czech Republic for him, Scotland/England for me.  I really want to do the river boat cruises through Europe.
  5. In this transitional phase for me, I’m in between so much.  I wrote a fellow blogger recently, that it’s like a very long slow curve I’m traveling around and I can’t see what’s around the bend.  I’m not afraid that I don’t know.  But distractions keep me from staying positive.  My future is bright, and tomorrow I will wake up again in anticipation of ‘something good’ happening, because;  Something Good is Going to Happen!

I’d love to open this challenge up to anyone who would like to participate.

Specifically:  Marla, AKA Crazy Mom at Just Make the Coffee, Lorrie Bowden, Lucy at All Right Choices,  and Christy Life As Christy.

As I take these seminars on Big Thinking, I’m really challenged with these things to push myself a little farther.  My nose has been to the grind stone for so long.  I’ve looked up and I’m over 50.  Time to get dreaming about my future, don’t you think?

Thanks Rob for the nomination.

Fuubutsushi….more words for the changing season

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Is it still winter? For a few more days technically. I’m suffering the anticipation of the change of season with the obligatory allergy sniffle.

I’m anticipating a monster pine pollen season. It’s always so interesting when all cars parked outdoors for more than an hour become a lovely yellow hue.

A little further northwest in Austin, Cedar fever should be in full swing in the next week or two. They actually have shots for that….homeopathic remedies include concentrated tinctures of cedar pollen rubbed into strategic pressure points on the body.

Mostly, I’m looking forward to the blue bonnets this year. The rains we’ve had since last October should make this season really great.

Spring brings back happy memories, and makes me look forward to seeing things bloom. We will get the garden planted, and look forward to tomatoes, cucumbers, and fresh herbs.

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I’m grateful for the early signs of spring…warm breezes, sunshine, and budding trees.

My Fuubutsushi is in full gear. The fresh scent of just cut grass has me ready for a lovely warm weather time.

What triggers your Fuubutsushi? Is it a calendar season? A holiday season? A season in your life?

Do you look forward to changing your wardrobe, changing colors, longer days, fresh veggies?

I’d love to hear about it!

Vorfreude …..what?

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When I was a little girl, my dad traveled very often. When we would take him to the airport I would long to go with him. I wanted to fly on the airplane more than I wanted a pony. One day he surprised me and offered to take me along with him.

I chickened out. I don’t know why I got so scared, maybe because I was only 7.

This anxiousness continues today, especially when I entertain. I am an early freak anyway, but I’m always pacing checking for guests, planning for where I will put all the food in case no one shows up. It’s so silly, even if less people arrive than I invited, it always ends up so nice. The people who don’t show aren’t even missed. We just celebrate who is there, and toast who didn’t show.

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I’m sure someone smarter than me can analyze all this anticipation anxiety. There is a change coming that I’ve longed for for over a year. The fact that this dream will finally come true, I’m weepy. The thought that this dream might actually be so close has me ready to run back to the safety of just dreaming, instead of reaching out and living this dream. Can I really embrace this dream and enjoy it? Will I enjoy the reality as much as the dream?

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So to be ready to live out this dream, I find myself humbled and ready to prepare, so that I can live this dream to the fullest extent. I want the reality of it to be better than I ever imagined.

Maybe that’s my new dream, making the future reality better than how I’ve imagined it. Vivre le Vorfreude!

Looking for the good!

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Yesterday was a good day. Beautiful weather, good rental car to drive, excellent prospect meetings, and a clean hotel to stay.

I’m ready for an even better day today! I was able to get in my 3.1 I made reasonable time. I’m still slightly suspicious of hotel fitness equipment, and their calorie and distance calibrations, but I based my time after what I’m used to at home, and if I burned 385 calories in 42 minutes, that’s just a little icing on the cake.

I see good things coming my way, and I’m looking for ways to be good to someone.

It’s Thursday! Go be nice to someone!