Never eat at the bar alone.

I had been out making sales calls, finished up the morning and took my car at lunch for the needed oil change.

The line was long for the oil change, so I Uber’d to a nearby place for lunch.

Being by myself, and being lunch I opted to eat at the bar.

There was a couple, and a solo, older man already there, and they were mostly finished with lunch. I dug thru my purse for my expense receipts, business cards, et al so I could update my expense account, and my CRM.

The older man (late 60’s early 70’s) was to my left. He was a chatty guy. He had been conversing with the couple, and he turned to me. “I love your dimples. Do you know what they mean?” I responded politely “not sure, there are lots of stories”. He said “It means you’ve been kissed by God”. I replied with a little nervous chuckle, ” I had heard ‘kissed by angels, before.” I was Hoping that was the end of the discussion. But no. Innocuous conversation about what I do, He noticed my wedding ring, asked about my husband. He wanted to know if I had children, made a comment that “I looked too ‘young’ to have boys their age.” We talked about the Astros, as there is a big game tonight. More personal questions ensued. Then My Creep-O-Meter got too loud to ignore, and I HAD NO IDEA what to do! For a gal who always has a plan….this created an issue for me.

It’s been so long since anyone has flirted with me I was dumbfounded, and in desperate need to flee.

I couldn’t eat. I couldn’t get out of there fast enough.

I ordered an Uber back to the auto shop, and the poor Uber driver…..I made no sense to him at all, I was that rattled.

The sad thing is I’m completely out of practice turning those situations around. They are easy to diffuse, and I remember being good at it a long time ago. He was a single, older man, looking for a date, conversation, probably more. That is ok. I’m just so out of practice, I couldn’t be graceful in my “No thank you”, and still continue a polite conversation.

Truly, I think that ability is a woman’s power–To Be graceful . Graceful in conversation, and graceful in the No Thank You —when a man is just being a guy….Probably feeling as awkward as I did.

I think what rattled me most was my belief that no one would be interested in flirting with me. That sort of shook me.

What a wake up call to sharpen a long dusty, rusty, skill set of being part of the human race. Flirting, conversing, or just Being an interesting and kind person to all that I can is important. For sure, there are enough jerks out there.

No need to be awkward about it. Now, where do I practice my “No Thanks” graceful, lady like phrases?

It’s times like these, I appreciate my husband’s presence. He’s a wonderful covering, and one of the reasons I’m out of practice.

Not all is always well, but all is good.

I’m not trying to make sense, as I’m still trying to understand.

My husband and I have been together since late 1991. We know each other well, which makes our current situation odd.

We rarely fight each other. If we are fighting it is on the same side against others.

When we fight each other….

Image credit Getty Images.

When we fight each other, the earth quakes, as we rain down wrath that makes nature back up in awe. He might be a foot taller than me and 100 pounds heavier, but I’ve never backed down from him, nor will I.

What was odd about our recent altercation was his immediate humility, apology, and my immediate forgiveness, absolution, and appreciation.

I was hurt. His recent neglect, and lack of interest had culminated in an obvious display that I couldn’t tolerate. I put my foot down. He turned a paler shade or white…..apologized verbally, demonstrated the apology, and all was right….immediately. The moment he recognized the issue, and apologized the atmosphere completely changed and I was once again awed by the power of making peace.

All ego was cast aside, and I was the one humbled and moved by the power he held in his apology. It was a valiant and honorable demonstration of his love for me. But all the power remained with him.

It was amazing. But of course he had the power, because I was the one hurt, and only he could fix it. When he offered the remedy and I accepted I was putty in his hands.

It was an amazing and profound reminder of the power that humility holds, and the cementing effects of an apology on a relationship.

Never be afraid to apologize to those who really love you.

It was a profound lesson for me.

“There is always hope and power to those who can love, and apologize.” Quote being my own.

The anniversary.

24 Roses for 24 years. Such a simple and sweet gesture.

I’ve always appreciated my husband’s sincerity, generosity, and kindness. He knows that it has always been the little things that have made the biggest difference over the years. I am a very blessed woman to have a man like him.

24 years, pretty cool huh?

Jealousy, a picture paints a thousand words.


“I need you to get your Aunt Bobby’s picture and bring it to me.”  

An unusual request, but my little cousin complied.

My Grandma had hidden a picture behind my mom’s picture that she kept on her dresser.

My mind goes a little sideways at the mention of the story.  This isn’t a photo of her and my Grandfather.  She had a beau that she remembered fondly.

At my Gradmother’s funeral, we were telling stories.  This was a special one.

My Grandmother had 12 brothers and sisters.  She was taken out of school in 8th grade and “fostered out” in the Scots/Irish practice to help support the family.  She and her older sister Crystal were fostered to a family in Charleston W. Virginia.  My Aunt Crystal was a maid, my Grandmother was the cook.  Their income was sent to their family for support, and to pay debts. 

My Grandmother had gone to school with my grandfather. They met when they were 8 years old.  They planned to marry.  When my grandmother left for Charleston, things cooled down, and my grandmother agreed to a few dates as my Grandfather stopped writing or visiting her.

She sent this picture to my grandfather when he ceased his attentions.  She told him that unless he fixed his car, and came to see her, she would agree to marry another.

Well, Grandpa got his stuff together. But Grandma kept the picture.

Her aloofness is obvious.  The suitors ardor is apparent.  

What do you see in the photo?

I look at the careful way she dressed.  The peep-toed shoes, the suit, the little clutch bag, the possessive male at her side.  The coy way she is looking away.

A picture paints a thousand words.

What do you see?

The FUTURE challenge

future

My dearest buddy Rob from the VPub has nominated me for something fun!

He’s a great blogger, has wonderful music posted both original, and other artists.  His blog is witty, entertaining, interactive, social, and I’m so happy I was introduced to him in this blogosphere.

For the Future Challenge the rules are as follows:

Rules:
• Thank the bloggers who nominated you. Thank you, Rob!
• Link back to the challenge creator, Dreams and Movie Screens so she can track your progress.
• Share 5 things about your future (jobs, kids, marriage, travel etc). Then one day you can look back and find out how psychic you really are.
• Tag 5 bloggers and put them up to the challenge.

5 things about my future.

  1.  My future is very bright, but uncertain right now for my profession.  I’ve always worked, I like to work, and I will work again.  I’m not sure if that will be as a bee keeper, honey producer, or as a check out clerk at the local grocery store.  Who knows, I might start a serious blog for income?
  2. My husband and I are focused on where we will go after retirement, and we bought some land a couple hours from any City.  We will raise bees, and see how that will impact us either as a hobby or a business.
  3. My children are grown, and I’m looking forward to grandkids someday.  When we build our house in the country, it’s going to have a cool bunk room for the grand babies, a play area with rope swings, 4 wheelers to ride, pond to fish, and a place where the whole family can congregate together.
  4. Someday in the near future my husband and I want to travel to the Home Countries; The Czech Republic for him, Scotland/England for me.  I really want to do the river boat cruises through Europe.
  5. In this transitional phase for me, I’m in between so much.  I wrote a fellow blogger recently, that it’s like a very long slow curve I’m traveling around and I can’t see what’s around the bend.  I’m not afraid that I don’t know.  But distractions keep me from staying positive.  My future is bright, and tomorrow I will wake up again in anticipation of ‘something good’ happening, because;  Something Good is Going to Happen!

I’d love to open this challenge up to anyone who would like to participate.

Specifically:  Marla, AKA Crazy Mom at Just Make the Coffee, Lorrie Bowden, Lucy at All Right Choices,  and Christy Life As Christy.

As I take these seminars on Big Thinking, I’m really challenged with these things to push myself a little farther.  My nose has been to the grind stone for so long.  I’ve looked up and I’m over 50.  Time to get dreaming about my future, don’t you think?

Thanks Rob for the nomination.