Foggy days-daze

Ever have one of those ‘foggy’ days, when thoughts are fleeting and lost?

Yesterday I was in a foggy daze.

I got lost.

I got found.

I messed up every time I turned around.

It’s not me.  That’s not who I am.

Who is it then?

Shaking off the fog, I was watching myself as if I was someone else.

I had to laugh at myself to keep from a dark and sinister condemnation.

What is worse then tearing your own self down?

My big challenge:  to speak to myself, about myself, in caring and supportive tones.

That’s not easy.

But…..(don’t you just cringe at the but?)

BUT!  I am sharp, well thought out, decisive, articulate, funny, resourceful, practical, forgiving, and kind.  I am confident, capable, well able to get from point A to point B without getting lost.  I see detail, and have a great memory.  I don’t fail, I learn.  I can do this, even when it’s foggy.

Do you ever have to stop internal dialogue?  How do you turn it around?IMG_2216

image from Pinterest.

 

I forgot the 4th Ninja Turtle’s name, or Random Wandering Thoughts

One of those sleepless nights, where the mind wanders.

We had found a new series on Netflix on the de Medicis.


Quite a few Game of Thrones actors in this one, and just as political and scheming.

After tossing and turning I started thinking about the DaVinci series that came out a few years ago.


This deMedici doesn’t feature Leonardo DaVinci, but it does have Donatello as one of the artists of the age.

So my active, intellectual mind segued right into cartoons as I tried to remember all the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle characters.


I couldn’t recall Michael Angelo.

I will have to write Netflix and see if they can’t put together a series on the other Italian Artists so I can keep my Turtles straight.

I’m going back to bed now.  This seems like a really odd dream.

A goodbye note from a friend

A had a friend.  We met when we were 18.  We’ve been in and out of each other’s lives since 1983….that’s a long time.

We looked alike, went to college, shared clothes, cars, friends, horses, drinks, laughs, hard times, fun times.  Now she’s gone.

Not dead, she’s decided not to interact anymore.  She’s pulled herself away, and refused to interact with me, except for an occasional “like” on Facebook.  I asked her why. 

She emailed a response.

“I have searched for an answer. What comes to me is that I am paralyzingly unsettled by intimacy. I believe that is why I have no friends. The moment I meet someone with whom I might connect, everything inside of me pulls away until I am so uncomfortable around her that it’s easy to not be.


For me, you epitomize intimacy. Everything about you calls to me, invites me to open up, expose who I am. I want you to know me…and that wanting terrifies me. And because, in my darkness, knowing me makes you less. So, I have the shallow relationship with you that social media allows. I get to be connected to you without ever having to truly connect.


None of this factors in your feelings or needs. By not doing so I perpetuate my self fulfilling prophesy that I am fundamentally characterless.


I’m sorry and appreciate that you forgive me…because that’s the kind of person You are.”

That’s one of the most grandiose ways I’ve seen to say” F’off. I’m broken and only want to watch you on Facebook, and the last 33 years…just kidding.”

I sure can pick friends.  I might have to reevaluate my selection process.

Is it murder or war?

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11 officers shot, 4 dead by snipers in Dallas at the Black Lives Matter protest.

Snipers not cooperating with law enforcement, and there is mention of bombs.  The snipers have threatened more violence.

Despite the attack, they protected the Black Lives Matters protesters, and risked their lives to stop the attack.

Downtown Dallas is Closed as a crime scene until all suspects are found, and confirmation of the bomb situation.

This is heartbreaking.  DOWNTOWN DALLAS IS CLOSED AS A CRIME SCENE because of these MURDERERS.

Is this a crime scene, or are we at war?

Please take the time to say a prayer for the people affected, for a swift end to the violence and horrifying hatred being displayed.

 

Go Ahead and flash that….

paulina-gretzky-us-open-video

Image source fox news.com

Ok….Dustin Johnson, not the most reputable players, but a very talented athlete, battles back after penalty assessments to win a very valuable prize, and Ms. Gretsky shows up in a skin tight white shirt that won’t cover her ‘assets’.

I’m just curious, so please excuse my analytical approach here.  Because I just don’t get it.

Friends don’t let friends let their ‘assets get exposed’, where were her besties?

Would you wear a dress that barely reached below your genitals knowing you would be out in a crowd, or on TV?  If you would, please comment!  This would be great research!

She’s got the hot bod, no doubt.  She’s the daughter of the Great Gretzky, so she knows cameras.  So what’s up here?  If you had the smoking hot, after-baby, could pull-it-off-without- a -hitch body, would you do it?

Would you show up on a national stage, to support your boyfriend, show off your son, and leave your rear end hanging out of your carefully selected skin tight shirt?

I’m an analytical so help me here folks.  What’s the scoop on this?  It’s not a Kardashian caboose in that dress, what am I missing?  I’m pretty sure I know what she’s missing……cause she kept pulling that shirt down to cover her bikini undies.

Was it, one of those, “oh I had a skirt to go with this” moments because she was so stoked over Johnson’s win?