My last Hormone, or why I don’t want to go Bald. 

Doctors. One says yes to Hormone replacement. The other says no.

The No doctor says to me:  “do you shave your feet?”

Me:  ” I rarely have to shave my legs.  Why?”

No Doc:  “when was the last time you shaved your legs?”

Me:  “4 or 5 days?”

No Doc takes my arm:  “you don’t have hair on your arms either.  Your eyebrows are thin, and your hairline is receding.  No more hormones.”

Me:  “I’ve always been smooth, Doctor.”

No Doc:  “That’s why you are going in for an Ultrasound on your thyroid, and I’m getting 8 vials of blood.”

Me:  ” if I grow a mustache because of this, you are in trouble!”

I guess I’d rather be Cranky, Weepy, and Bitchy than Bald.

Two boxes of Kleenex, 27 hours of sleep, and a 3 peat of Roxanne

I learned about these too late!  Who knew that the fabulous minds of today came up with a product that would save the body of the dreaded Red Nose of Suffering!

Two boxes of Kleenex can do a number on the schnozzola.  But I’m on the mend.  

Today I woke up feeling better, had an appetite, and a little energy.  Gone were the shivers, the sweats, and the Booger Fest.

Today I’m grateful for feeling better, good sleep, and a good movie to watch over and over and one more time just because.


Colds, cold medicine, Kleenex, and falling over

I’m not a sick person.

I rarely go to the doctor.

But I came back from Phoenix with a cold, Dammit.

So I got on the couch with my tea, blankie, and Kleenex. 

My darling friends brought me Pho, spring rolls, dumplings, magazines, and more Kleenex. 

My nose is red, my ears hurt and are ringing, and as I sit down to soup, I fall on my butt cause I’m so dizzy.

What do my friends do?

They laugh their butts off because it was so hilarious.

Too bad my cold medicine wasn’t the old fashion kind.  But I’d really like to find some of this….

It would make falling down, so much more deserved.

To your health!


Photo credit:  Lauren Conrad

I added Yoga to my exersize routine in mid-July.  It’s an hour long Hatha Yoga class on Tuesdays and Thursday’s.  So we focus on breathing. We ground a pose, find our breath, and hold the pose.

I had never focused on breathing before, and I have found it relaxing and enjoyable.

Something so simple.  Breath in, breath out.  Breath in 2,3,4…Breath out 2,3,4,5.   Repeat.

In the quest to reinvent myself, I’ve started with the most basic necessities. My breathing.  

One of the tricky parts of reinvention is the fact, it’s still me at the end of the day.  It will always be me.  

So, breathing is underway.  Thinking is underway.  Training my body with exersize, and training my mind with casting down negativity, and doubt and focusing on positivity, strength, and learning new things.

I breath in the beauty of my future.  I breath out the creativity and strength to create and embrace it.

Is your tank empty or full?

Photo credit:  fit

I got hit with this question from two different sources in one day.  Repeated messages tend to get my attention.

This makes sense to me, as I have been drained.  Not just of physical energy, but mental and emotional energy too.

We worked in the heat again this weekend.  I knew I was whipped when I thanked my husband, and was supremely grateful for the makeshift “potty”….Aka Latrine he built using a toilette seat, landscape timbers, and cinder blocks over a deep hole in the ground.  He did a tent- like privacy cover using a blue tarp.  This city girl has come a long, long way.  The frogs jumping in and out of the cement water trough a few feet away…didn’t even phase me.  I almost took a picture of it I was so thankful…..I’ve come a very long way, indeed.

When I got home late Sunday night I said a long prayer of thanksgiving for hot running water, a toilette that flushes, air conditioning, and my bed.

Monday was a long day of interviews and research into the prospective employers, Zumba, grocery shopping, cooking, walking the neglected dogs, and an online seminar.  

Today, I’m drained.  I’ve spent myself fully.  All of the physical, emotional, intellectual reserves I thought I had are used up, drained and gone.

So for me, it’s time to unplug.  With the last of my creativity, I wanted to post something encouraging.  We all face times when we have to fill our tanks.  We are most effective when we operate out of our overflow.

If any of you are finding yourselves drained, please share how you recharge, how you care for yourself to make sure you are operating at your best.  What works for you?

Until I return, be good to yourself and to each other!

Who needs boot camp?

105 degrees, landscape timbers need to be moved to make room for the barn….

Water?  Check.

Gloves?  Check.

Shovel to kill snakes?  Check.

Oh, boy…I’m not sure if this City girl is up for this task.

But, I can’t be some hothouse flower.  I’ve got to pluck up my gumption, and get this done.

Gotta separate the rotten, warped, and broken pieces.

40 good pieces salvaged from the ancient pile.

Worked the biceps, got in plenty of squats, heart rate going really well, and a humongous amount of perspiration. 

I did it!  Yea!  I’m not going to be able to move tomorrow, but…I got it done!

I’m so grateful I didn’t give up.  I’m grateful for the strength to work on our property.  I’m grateful I pushed through.  I’m supremely grateful for shade where I had to be.

What do you do when you can’t make it to the gym?

How do you motivate yourself for an unfamiliar task?

Coco or Coconuts?

Nutrition alerts!

It’s been a month on Bee Pollen, Coconut Water, and Coconut oil.

I can honestly say, I have nothing to report.  No weight loss, no increased energy.  No glowing skin.  It’s odd that it doesn’t do anything for my hair either.  In fact my hair doesn’t like it at all.  

However, I got a good report on recent blood tests, so I will take that improvement, and let the coconuts work from the inside out.

Zumba has helped me look better in shorts.  Muscle tone is looking so much better.  It does wonders for my mood and mental well being.

My exersize in Patience, has left me a little tired.  The silence and non-response from the people I reached out to, has me a bit sad, and discouraged.  

The old doors seem cemented shut against me.  So, it looks like it is time to turn the page and start a new chapter in my life.  

The question now, is it back to school for me?

Photo from Town and Country

Sunday Smiles

A robust day of cooking for the week ahead.  We are expanding our nutrition, and working through the Fast Metabolism Plan of Haley Pomroy.

I’m still taking my coconut oil, coconut water, and bee pollen.  No noticeable difference in feeling better, but my recent blood tests came back greatly improved.  Cholesterol down, the icky estrogen dominance has been obliterated, my hemoglobin was perfect!

We did this plan about 18 months ago, and it was quite successful.

The trick is to plan ahead, cook like crazy, and eat the 5 times a day (which is really hard).

I will not give up my coffee, as the plan insists.  That’s just un-American.  And I require coffee as a necessity.😛

If I make some good progress, I will let you know,

When I looked at all of my achievements for today, it made me smile.

  1. A pork tenderloin with carrots, onions, and peppers.  Monday night dinner.
  2. Chicken breasts with sweet potatoes.  Wednesday night dinner.
  3. Butternut squash Soup.  Lunch anytime.
  4. A cauliflower pizza crust.  Sunday night veggie pizza.
  5. Turkey and asparagus roll ups with mustard.  Wednesday and Thursday snacks
  6. Sautéed spinach and egg white scrambles. Wednesday and Thursday breakfast. 
  7. Steel cut oatmeal and strawberries.  Monday and Tuesday breakfast.
  8. A big batch of quinoa for the stuffed zucchini squash boats.  Tuesday night Dinner. 

I’ll grocery shop again on Thursday for the weekend goodies.

My plan is in place, and I’m looking forward to the improved nutrition, improved health, and hopefully lighter in weight. 




Sometimes when you stumble, you get the full frontal knowledge of humble.

It’s difficult to move forward effectively when you are looking backwards.

Walking the dogs this morning, I started pouring over the last year.  The trials, the arguments, the obstinacy, the irrational selfishness, the materialistic, petty, stupidity over crappy ‘stuff’…..It ran like a movie through my head.  The look on my mother’s face as she cursed me, belittled my efforts, and demanded more and more while extolling the virtues of her enabling co-dependent friends.  All the while I watched as things fell apart around her, and was powerless to act on her behalf.  The law suit from the step siblings over things that my brother and I never wanted and told them we would make sure got back to them.  Not being able to get my brother to listen to the medical issues, and the concerns I had.  Not being able to function on my job.  Hospitals, funeral homes, airports, rental cars, consultations, rehabilitation sites, physical therapy, plans, interference.  Ka BOOM!

It literally took falling down on my face in the sidewalk to get the movie to stop playing in my head.

I had two wet noses in my face, checking me over in two shakes of a dog’s tail.

Sweet dogs to give me kisses of encouragement, stood by till I brushed myself off, shook the cobwebs and bad memories from my brain, wiped the tears from my face, and gave them a good petting to thank them for their selfless love for me.

When I got home, my phone rang.  My husband calling to check in for the morning heard the stress in my voice.  I got another talking to about my posture, my skin, and how I’ve lost my sparkle.  He went on to tell me how important it is for me to keep focusing on taking care of myself.  Ouch.

On the positive side, I know he is concerned for me.  I’m getting better, but I’m still not fully recovered from all of the events from last year through May.

Humbled.  I’ve stumbled, and I’m humbled.  Time to work on getting better, and that means looking forward, not behind.

I’m very grateful today to have a man who loves me enough to confront me in my state, encourage me to do better, and gives me the time and space to do it.

I’m grateful for puppy dogs to kiss me better when I fall.

I’m grateful for reminders, to keep looking forward….the best is yet to be.


Push away the negative talk:

You can’t do it.

They don’t want you.

You aren’t enough.

Push away the memories:

Your shoulders are stooped.

Your skin looks terrible.

You are sharper than swords, and ready to fight.

No one wants you around.

Push away the image:

You are fat.

Your hair is gray and falling out.

Your don’t belong.

Push to the light:

You are enough.

You have enough.

You do enough.

Push till you can’t hear them anymore.