Send in the Storm Troopers

(An Actual Advertisement on Pinterest)

Yes my friends, for $699 you too can have a Storm Trooper Robot Vacuum cleaner.

For $799 you can have Darth Vader vacuum for you.

I texted my oldest son and let him know, just in case he wanted to geek out and have a robot clean his apartment.

He texted me back “Mom, for $799 Darth had better play the Imperial March while vacuuming.”

I love that witty young man. He always makes me smile.

Everything is bigger in Texas? Here’s proof.

A friend of mine whose family has had the Wildlife management of the King Ranch for the last 50 years posted this picture on Facebook last week.

108 lbs, 8’2″ long, rattle snake. It was found, and dispatched near Beeville, Tx a couple weeks ago.

Look at the size of that snake’s head! It’s like it’s half python or something out of a horror movie.

We are always watching for snakes, and I think we will all be a little more cautious from here on out.

I’m glad the dude put his beer down for the picture, but something tells me he was trying to hold the beer and the snake at the same time. I can hear the guy taking the picture. “You gotta use both hands to get that snake up high enough so I can get the whole thing in the shot, dumb ass”.

That skin will make some boots, now.

Watch your step.

Here’s some Ray Wylie Hubbard for the mood music.

Dear Lord, did that just happen?

It’s happened. I didn’t think it was possible that I am this old, but the strangest thing happened, and I wasn’t sure what to do when it did. It kind of freaked me out.

Going back to work after an 18 month break, I was looking forward to the social aspects of my job. There are client lunches, conventions, happy hours, dinners, travel, and parties.

I’ve always navigated these functions with my dignity, and professionalism. Our professional community is very small, and we’ve all been a part of it for a very long time. The average age in our circle is 55 and the average tenure is 22 years. So, if you think about it, we’ve all grown up together professionally. Having any kind of flirtation or dalliance is usually widely broadcast, discussed, snickered at, and frowned upon in a very judge-y way.

No, I didn’t have a dalliance, it wasn’t even a reciprocated flirtation, but I think I got hit on, and there was a very uncomfortable long hug, with lots of big smiles and eyebrows moving up on a forehead that might have indicated a question. I think I might have blushed and stammered like a 12 year old before I walked away.

We took clients to lunch, and I was with 2 of the partners from our firm, and 5 people from the C-Suite of an oil company credit union. The CIO from the credit union and I had met 2 times before, at a lunch and one of their new branch openings. Now I’m his favorite, and he hugged me 3 times at the lunch. At the greeting, after the lunch, and at the door when he said his goodbyes. He kept prolonged eye contact, and would touch my arm whenever he could. I believe he’s married, and I was wearing my wedding ring.

Have you ever been in that position, when your stomach drops when the signals finally get through, and they take you completely by surprise?

I kept shaking my head. Did that just happen? Then I had to laugh, because I started thinking about the Golden Girls. I’m not a Blanche, but she had some great lines.

It’s been a long time since I was the center of attention, or the prettiest. But I didn’t think I was that out of practice not to understand when certain signals were coming my way.

So, in pondering the situation, and realizing that being a fifty-something almost Golden Girl I will have to just put my sense of humor on, and try to be more like Rose than Blanche.

The noise

You know you’re getting old when the bass from a parked car pumping through your bedroom at 2 am has the husband bounding out of bed, cursing “Damn Kids”.

I laughed till I cried. I remember when we used to be one of them. Then I was grateful that I could remember when I was one of them!

(Image captured from Facebook)

(Image captured from Facebook)

My gal pals and me

We share silly stories. This one came to me via text from my buddy Rolanda in Oklahoma.

I’m so happy to know that there isn’t a Shortage.

Sometimes, the wiener shows up when it’s not expected.

Then things went south.

When you can’t find a wiener, sometime you just have to have a glass of wine.

Laugh with me please.

Getting back to business, nose constipation, and other silliness. 

It’s so good to be feeling better, and getting back into my routine.  Getting back to work.  Getting back to working out.

I went to my Monday night TRX class after quite an absence, and was amazed at how weak I had gotten.  I was teasing with the instructor when she asked where I had been.  I told her my nose was constipated.  She looked at me funny.  I continued to explain.  The last 2-3 days I was sick, I could breath, but there was a lot of crap stuck in my sinuses that would not come out!  I got a quite a chuckle out of that.  Of course she went on to kick my butt in the workout, and I went home a tired, sweaty mess with completely clear sinuses.

The other side product of being sick was losing my taste for wine.  I tried having a glass Friday night with dinner, and I was not interested in finishing it.  So it’s been a couple of weeks of being alcohol free, and I’m thinking I will just keep that status, and see how my physical self responds over time.  It would be great to lose some weight.

One of the other great quandaries going on in my head, and on my head is what to do with my hair.  Do I go gray?  Looking at the now substantial roots of gray, and thinking about having to go through the color, highlight process….do I want to just let the natural gray come out?  Do I have the patience to do that?  I see more and more beautifully gray-haired women own their silver tresses like champions.  It’s very motivating, I can tell you.  What I have to decide, is it for me?

I have to do something quick, decision-wise, on the hair.  I’m on the road again Friday, and this skunky gray streak down the middle of my head won’t pass muster.

Today I’m grateful for choices.  I’m grateful to be feeling better, to be able to work out, and to be back to work.