The funny things you see

We went out for an early dinner, and on our way back to the car, we pass this little shoe. I think Smart Cars look like children’s shoes, don’t ask me why.

My first thought was “would I trust a repairman who showed up in this?”

My second thought was “He’s got a really little tool box.”

My buddy on facebook commented it should be a mobile vasectomy service.

We all had a good laugh.

Driving and Driving

I seriously do this, and I drive a lot in a city where I’ve lived since 1986. It’s always under construction. If they change the 290/610 interchange on me one more time! Well they probably will, so I won’t go there.

I have found that when I need to concentrate, all distractions have to be removed.

What do you do to focus on where you are?

A survey gone too far.

Do you get surveys? Are you ever online, and an interrupting pop up appears on the screen wanting to know if you are willing to take a short survey?

Can you imagine, being in the privacy of a bathroom, and a pop up appears “Would you be willing to poop here again?” Rate us 5 stars!

How would you decide how many stars to give? On the efficiency of the bowl movement, or the cleanliness of the facility? Is lighting an issue in bathroom ambiance? Then you have your courtesy sprays. Because….well…’s important.

Getting feedback on the satisfaction of the bathroom experience seems a really odd, over-the-top thing to do.

“I can only give you 3 stars the overhead lighting was harsh, and the TP was too rough?”

I realize this is a little silly, and that’s kinda the point, isn’t it?

I mean, I have an ex-husband who couldn’t poop anywhere but his mommy’s house. It was really an awkward, and short marriage, but he didn’t have the same standards of exclusivity for his penis, which was the end of the marriage.

Still, bathroom habits are very personal things, but taking a survey about them is a little odd. I blame the VRBO, Air B&B and Home Away for these odd little items.

Send in the Storm Troopers

(An Actual Advertisement on Pinterest)

Yes my friends, for $699 you too can have a Storm Trooper Robot Vacuum cleaner.

For $799 you can have Darth Vader vacuum for you.

I texted my oldest son and let him know, just in case he wanted to geek out and have a robot clean his apartment.

He texted me back “Mom, for $799 Darth had better play the Imperial March while vacuuming.”

I love that witty young man. He always makes me smile.

Everything is bigger in Texas? Here’s proof.

A friend of mine whose family has had the Wildlife management of the King Ranch for the last 50 years posted this picture on Facebook last week.

108 lbs, 8’2″ long, rattle snake. It was found, and dispatched near Beeville, Tx a couple weeks ago.

Look at the size of that snake’s head! It’s like it’s half python or something out of a horror movie.

We are always watching for snakes, and I think we will all be a little more cautious from here on out.

I’m glad the dude put his beer down for the picture, but something tells me he was trying to hold the beer and the snake at the same time. I can hear the guy taking the picture. “You gotta use both hands to get that snake up high enough so I can get the whole thing in the shot, dumb ass”.

That skin will make some boots, now.

Watch your step.

Here’s some Ray Wylie Hubbard for the mood music.

Dear Lord, did that just happen?

It’s happened. I didn’t think it was possible that I am this old, but the strangest thing happened, and I wasn’t sure what to do when it did. It kind of freaked me out.

Going back to work after an 18 month break, I was looking forward to the social aspects of my job. There are client lunches, conventions, happy hours, dinners, travel, and parties.

I’ve always navigated these functions with my dignity, and professionalism. Our professional community is very small, and we’ve all been a part of it for a very long time. The average age in our circle is 55 and the average tenure is 22 years. So, if you think about it, we’ve all grown up together professionally. Having any kind of flirtation or dalliance is usually widely broadcast, discussed, snickered at, and frowned upon in a very judge-y way.

No, I didn’t have a dalliance, it wasn’t even a reciprocated flirtation, but I think I got hit on, and there was a very uncomfortable long hug, with lots of big smiles and eyebrows moving up on a forehead that might have indicated a question. I think I might have blushed and stammered like a 12 year old before I walked away.

We took clients to lunch, and I was with 2 of the partners from our firm, and 5 people from the C-Suite of an oil company credit union. The CIO from the credit union and I had met 2 times before, at a lunch and one of their new branch openings. Now I’m his favorite, and he hugged me 3 times at the lunch. At the greeting, after the lunch, and at the door when he said his goodbyes. He kept prolonged eye contact, and would touch my arm whenever he could. I believe he’s married, and I was wearing my wedding ring.

Have you ever been in that position, when your stomach drops when the signals finally get through, and they take you completely by surprise?

I kept shaking my head. Did that just happen? Then I had to laugh, because I started thinking about the Golden Girls. I’m not a Blanche, but she had some great lines.

It’s been a long time since I was the center of attention, or the prettiest. But I didn’t think I was that out of practice not to understand when certain signals were coming my way.

So, in pondering the situation, and realizing that being a fifty-something almost Golden Girl I will have to just put my sense of humor on, and try to be more like Rose than Blanche.