2018

It’s just a few days away, but I feel like it’s already here.

2017 went by in a blur, these last few days don’t seem to make much difference.

In 2017 I drove through hail into a rainbow, and visited Greta Garbo’s House in La Quinta, CA.  That was an epic way to start the year.

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I reconnected with old friends.

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Started a yoga routine, and TRX.  I learned to do a head stand.

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My city went through a lot!

 

I got to travel a bit Florida to California:

 

We took care of the bees.

 

 

I changed my hair, and got another year older.

It was quite a 2017 for me.  I’m really looking forward to 2018.

How did 2017 treat you?  What do you look forward to in 2018?

The kiss


I have been married a long time.  I’ve had the opportunity to kiss my husband thousands of times. Do I still kiss him with my eyes?  Hmm. I’m not sure.  Something to think about. 

I’m not talking about Romance.  I’m talking about routine Maintenance in a practical sense.   You don’t drive a car without changing the oil, rotating the tires, or keeping the brakes working.   Is The Kiss the basic maintenance of a marriage?

Being of a certain age and being together with my husband for so very long, the kiss….. unless exercised can get a bit dull.  It could seize up completely. The peck, or perfunctory smooch…..it has its functions.  I’m not a teenager. It’s not about the slobbering, sloppy, silly, stuff.   I’m speaking of The Kiss. 

 I’m starting an experiment. I miss The Kiss. The seductive, knee buckling, spine tingling, ‘wow’ kiss. The one where we tried harder?  The kiss of intention.  The claiming kiss.  The kiss of promise, passion, and commitment.  The Kiss when we meant it to express our care and desire for one another.

I’m reinstating the flirt.  Why?  Isn’t that where we started?  Introduction, assessment, inquiry, conversation, and instigation?  Too technical, I know, but that’s how it breaks down.  You meet, you look, you talk, then you try (go out, hang out, text, whatever).  I want to try harder.  I want to rekindle the maintenance and management of us.  Anything can go bad if your don’t take care of it.  I’m going to start taking better care.

  I’m focusing on how great is his smile.  How broad his shoulders, how strong his arms.  How he laughs.  What makes him laugh?  How can I touch his arm?  How can I make him feel wonderful, appreciated, cared for, wanted?  Would he hold me in those strong arms?  How can I dress for him?  Am I my best for him?  Does he still want me?

People try so hard to impress, dress, speak, and act to attract a stranger.  Why shouldn’t we maintain those things for the ones we’ve committed our lives to….Whom we’ve professed our love for….those?

Tonight, invited my husband out on a date in a very flirtatious manner. I might even let him kiss me at the door when we say goodnight.

Cheers to the Kiss, and to reacquainting flirtation and fun to an old romance.  Cheers to some old fashion maintenance.

My husband and I have been friends and lovers for over 25 years, we don’t have to be “old” about it.  

Sunday

A time for rest and reflection,

A time for family and peace.

We had some cold air blow in last night.

One last respite before the heat of summer.

Today,

I’m grateful that tomorrow starts my Birthday week celebration.  My friends have planned two fun things for us to do, and I’m pretty excited.  I’ve got some awesome friends and family.

I might be 50 something, but I’m still standing! And yes, I still like my animation movies!

 

Memories

Living in a city fo close to 30 years, you remember things as you drive down familiar roads. 

You remember when country roads were country roads.   Where the cows used to roam.  Where the good restaurants used to be, and what they are now.

Today, just isn’t what it used to be.

But tomorrow, has an awesome promise. 

My life of rejection, time to break the pattern.

It starts with….you were an accident.  We weren’t ready.  I was too young.  You were too difficult.  

It proceeds to “I’m leaving your dad.  I’m in love.  Don’t you want me to be happy?”

It moves on to:  if you don’t behave the way I want, go away.

Lose weight, or you are grounded.

You can throw that up…stick your finger down your throat….that’s what the models do.

Then it’s:  too bad you are fat, you have a pretty face. I wish I still weighed 117 pounds.  That was fat in my house.

Then we graduate to:  you know that God doesn’t approve of that. 

It peaks with being preached at graveside about why your mother couldn’t stand you.

Then, it is just a series of serial selfishness, and I realize that I’m falling into the same patterns over and over again.

I choose people knowing and expecting the rejection, and I think my behavior is setting me up for the repetitive behavior.

It’s time to break the pattern, cause this is dumb.


My paradigm is shifting, and I am moving on.  This broken record, and the latest new excuse is finished.

I’m looking forward to something better.  I’m not going to stop until I find that something better.

My husband was so funny when I talked to him about this.  He laughed and said, “I guess I was your one good decision”.

I love that man.

All the pain won’t be wasted.

Something really good is coming my way. 

Madame CJ Walker. The first self-made-female millionaire.

One of the most fabulous stories I’ve ever heard.  I saw it the first time watching Dinesh D’Souza’a America.  I had to learn more.

Why doesn’t Zinn mention her in his history books?  

Why hasn’t Oprah done a special on her every year to inspire all Americans?

Why hasn’t every Equal Opportunity, Glass Ceiling Breaking, Women’s rights shouting, protest conventioneer carrying a banner with this woman’s picture?

A woman, born in 1867, in Louisiana was the first self- made-female millionaire, here in America.  Before the female vote, before the Civil Rights Movement, the first free born girl in her family, during massive economic downturns, and amidst World Wars…..this woman created her own success.

Check out her official website Madame CJ Walker.  What an amazing Success Story.  It makes you want to say Oprah who?  Hillary who?  #gloriasteinamsucks #thisisrealgirlpower  #whoneedsalsharpton? 




If you would like to hear about how America stole her resources, land, oppressed her neighbors, and is an illegitimate political power….you might get more information in this film than what Zinn has published.

Eye opening, and quite inspiring. 

Monday


It’s a Monday and I’m focused on having a great week.

The pressure I’ve put on myself to get a new job exploded and left me a bit of a wreck last week.

So with renewed vigor to relax, and let life be good to me, and to trust that all Will be well…I want to send out my best wishes for everyone to have an amazing week.  I also want to encourage you to find something to be grateful for.  

No matter where you are or what you have, someone would love to be able to be like you.

Today I’m grateful for sunshine, my free Zumba class, my health, my loving husband, and sweet puppy dogs.

Hello Monday

  
Image credit. Princess Bride via funnyasfuck.net

What gets you going on a Monday besides coffee?  Humor?  Will Power?  Joy?  Happiness?  Fear?

Hoping your week is full of every good thing.