Lavender Cactus

I had never seen purple cactus until I came to Arizona.

Up with the Sun on a Saturday. The time change has done a number on me. I never thought that a cactus could be pretty, but I’m digging the purple veins, in this one. Maybe it’s sleep deprivation that lets me see something pretty when I normally would not even look.

Today, I’m grateful for a little time for reflection before the big family gathering.

This will be the first Mother’s Day in 5 years that I’ve got to spend with both of my boys. I’m excited.

Smooth, on the road again

www.youtube.com/watch

I’ve downloaded All the Santana I have my playlist.

I’ve sucked up my tired, aggravated mood, I’m going out again.

If you can’t ….who am I kidding.

I’ve never been able to get anyone to do anything.

I just have to roll, and enjoy regardless of who does what.

Cheers to just enjoying because you are there.

Which Way Photo Challenge 5-9-19

Hi! It’s Thursday, that means it’s Which Way Photo Challenge Time.

Thanks Son of A Beach for having this fun challenge every week.

How people move from place to place on land, signs, bridges, roads, walkways, all the ways we move about.

Here’s my take on it this week.

Slowly fading

It’s been a really wild 30 days.

I’ve put so much out- professionally, personally, family-wise.

And it’s all been for nothing.

All the effort, commutation, travel, planning, all of it.

Now it’s all turned to nothing.

I think I will take some time off, and just refocus.

I chide myself….what was I thinking?

I’m grateful to wake up and move on.

Being unique

I called my cousins to wish her happy birthday, and we got to chatting.

She was so encouraging and sweet.

We are all so unique in our own way.

It would be a shame if we couldn’t enjoy our own way of being unique.

Cheers to loving your own unique self.

Love letters

Love letters.

Has anyone ever written you a love letter?

Have you ever written one?

My heart has burst over a love letter written to me.

My heart has broken over love letters I’ve written to others when the feelings weren’t mutual.

Right now, my heart hurts over a letter I never wrote, and now, I don’t know what we are. Things are paused.

In my mind, he was the one who should have run down the aisle when I got married in 1986 yelling “I object”. He never did that, but I like to think he would have, if I had recognized him sooner.

If he had, I would have never met my husband, or had the wonderful life I have now.

We’ve been friends for so long. Which is the right course. I still love him. He and I are too much the same person occupying two different bodies to ever get along for very long. We would not be compatible. But I still love him.

He likes to say we’ve shared ‘past life experiences’. Like two war buddies sharing a fox hole in WWI. I don’t believe that, but I humor him.

We think of each other at the same time, and we text. Sometimes he gets his text in first while I’m in mid thought. Sometimes I do. And he’ll call and laugh, and say ‘why are you thinking of me, when I’m thinking of you?”

It’s just how we roll.

We were friends. We are friends. He’s had a bad medical report. He’s been in treatment for Cancer for about a year, and things aren’t getting better.

He calls me when he’s on his pain meds. He shares his heart. He loves his wife. She’s an amazing, wonderful person. I’m so glad to know her, and she is perfect for him.

This is love, when you love someone so much that you would never hurt them, or anyone else that they love. Because real love doesn’t hurt people. Real love just loves people without interrupting or wreaking havoc.

Right now, I know he’s in pain. I know he’s strategizing his battle plan. I know he’s not going to share his hurt with me. I’m not family.

This is love, lifting up the people who’ve made a home in your heart, and are welcome to visit anytime. The people who make you smile, especially when they want to Quote Emerson, and they just can’t pull it off, and you get to correct them. And smile, because they love Emerson too.

There has probably been 3 people like him in my life. People who are so connected to me, that we think of each other, and reach out simultaneously. These are special people. Please Pray for my friend.

4th, 5th, 6th

If Yesterday was May the 4th be with you, Star Wars Day,

And Today is Cinco de Mayo,

Does that make Monday Revenge of the 6th?

Abandoned

Abandoned

https://forfriendswithoutborders.wordpress.com/2019/05/01/abandoned/
— Read on forfriendswithoutborders.wordpress.com/2019/05/01/abandoned/

My friend Rob had a great post with these amazing lines in them that he was playing with for lyrics.

They really struck me, and I wanted to know what happens next, so I started playing with them.

I sent what came to me with Rob, and he encouraged me to share it with you.

I’ll add a little “for friends without borders/vpub” graphics for a little kick.

“Poison ink flows from the wells of your soul;
Looking for vengeance while your anger still grows…
Forlorn words of a poets  stale thoughts;
The person you wished is the person I’m not…”

You wished for a phantom

You wished for a king

You wished for a knight

But you don’t know a thing

Little girl, You are inside your own head

You can’t even see

The poison you take

It’s from you, not me….it’s all you, it’s not me.

The smoke and the mirrors you set up each night

To fool yourself in your own evil sight

Creating your scene, only you know the end

The poison that flows from your own evil pen.

The simmering anger you drink in each day

Festers and flows into a devilish play

Leave me out of the scenes you’ve written in your dark mind

You will never appreciate me, I’m one of a kind…I am one of a kind.