Self acceptance. Did I miss the boat?

From Brene Brown via Pinterest and Brainy Quote.

I struggle with all the self care, self acceptance, and self love hoopla.

Maybe it was the way that I was brought up.

I never saw all the holes in my boat, until I started looking deeper into this subject.

Belonging is something that I cultivate within my family, and my gal pals, and my group at the yoga studio. I’ve been very welcomed at my job, but I hold myself a bit apart. It begs the question: what haven’t I accepted in myself?

There is still a part of me that expects rejection. I expect people not to show up, to cancel, beg off, make excuses. It’s a big part of my job. I support clients at their convenience, not mine. I support the firm. Their schedule is above mine.

It might just be easier to believe people won’t show up, cancel, or reject me so that I won’t be too disappointed when it happens? The search for why is ongoing.

Why do I still believe that I’m not enough? Can that ever change?

The changing season

Life changes

Seasons change,

The more we change,

The more we stay the same.

There’s a tune in my head

The melody…..it leads me on again.

Today, we are here

Tomorrow gone

I’m still the same

Still, We carry on.

There’s a tune in my head

The melody……..it leads me on again

To whom this may concern

I hope you learn

I’m still the same.

No matter where it ends.

There’s a tune in my head,

I think I must be dead,

The Melody…..it—leads—-me—on….one more time….again

***a footnote

There are days when I can hear music, and the words that should go with it.

Someday, I will write the music that goes with the words.

A couple of Days in the Bee yard

A tale of 4 Queens, my own Game of Thrones Episode!

We started off with 4 new Queens, to reclaim our right to the Iron Throne. Ha. Not really.

We have a bit of an issue with Africanized Bees in our apiary. If something happens to one of our queens, and the hive Re-queens itself, that new queen mates with the local drones, and we end of with a very aggressive, angry hive. We have to keep careful eyes on our girls, or they could end up in a bad relationship! We don’t need any useless sons of incest here! You are welcome Sansa.

In Bee-Keeper folk lore, hive hygiene comes from the queen, and attitude comes from the drone. Most of the bee keepers in our area Re-Queen every year for the angry bee issue. What we have to do to grow our bee population is to the split our big hives, and add a new queen.

Regicide, is how we eliminate the 1 Angry Queen. It was a Kings Landing scene. The City was sacked. The population were turned out in search of the queen, and she was left in a rubble heap. This hive, being so aggressive, we had to take extreme measures to ensure that we got the queen.

We leave that hive queen-less for at least 24 hours, and then introduce them to a new queen via a queen cage. She is protected by the cage, the hive gets used to her particular pheromone, and then she and her entourage are released into the hive to reign. This angry hive was more docile and cooperate after the destruction. I’m very hopeful for good success.

We had one hive that had obviously lost their queen, and couldn’t make a new one. We cleaned that one up, and introduced them to their new Khaleesi. They were so sweet. We gave them two new frames of brood, and got rid of a wax worm infested frame. And we gave them some new sisters to help them get reestablished.

The we took two of our really big hives, and borrowed some brood, and some of their lovely bees, and made two new hives. We created two new boxes from there, and added our lovely young queens to guide them on their journey. Our Wildlings making new residences South of the Wall.

Sorry for all the corny Game of Throne references, but they seemed appropriate.

It was really hot and sweaty work. 88 degrees and 80% humidity gave us heat indices into the high 90’s. Winter is not coming here for a while.

This is what I’ve got right now!

A Blessed Memorial Day Weekend to all. God Bless all those that fell in combat and their families. We thank you all for your service and sacrifice.

Which Way Photo Challenge 5-23-19

Here we go again! It’s Thursday, Which Way Photo Challenge Time.

Thanks to Beach for putting this together. Please go visit his blog to see his really fun photos, and other challenges.

This challenge is all about the way people go from one place to another, signs, bridges, pathways, streets, etc.

Here’s my take on it this week from the Uptown Park area of Houston, TX.

Gifts from my heart

The bags are stuffed and ready to go,

It’s Go-time for the client gifts to be given out.

I loaded up my car with the offerings; the lovely soap, the lotion bars, and scrubber gloves. A hand written note on the ingredients, a little demonstration on the lotion bar, a little warning on how long it takes for the heavy lotion to sink into the skin, and lots of hugs. My favorite kind of sales calls.

I got my first review today. It’s the most amazing thing to give something from your hands and heart and for it to be well received. My client, and friend Staci tried the soap, lotion, and scrubber gloves last night. She even scrubbed her face! The loofah gloves probably aren’t the best thing for the face, but whatever works for her!

A happy client, a happy Wendy…..A Win-Win all around.

The journey to Gray;

It’s been 18 months of going blond, going short, then growing out,

It’s been a painful process. Long, arduous, exhausting, and often frustrating process.

Do I like it? I don’t know. It’s a big let down.

I like not going to the Salon every month to have my roots colored,

I like that the gray is silvery, not yellow and snaggey.

I think I will have my hair stylist give me some more highlights in front to take some of the frump out.

Maybe a purple streak?

Hair is frustrating.

But I’m grateful to have hair to fuss over.

My busy hands

Do you ever have those creative bursts of energy and end up with a lot of soap and lotion bars?

Well maybe you have your own brand of goodies that you crank out?

Maybe you garden, or do cross fit?

Maybe you do volunteer work?

When you have these creative bursts, are you completely wiped out when it’s over?

My plethora of soap, and lotion bars are packaged up and ready for distribution to my clients.

I really need a nap.