Be on the Lookout
LAST SEEN GROPING A WOMAN AT THE GROCERY STORE. HE SAYS IT WAS A CASE OF MISTAKEN IDENTITY.
WHITE MALE 60 BALD, 6’3″ POPEYE TATTOO ON LEFT FOREARM
We went to a lovely wedding in Dripping Springs, Tx last night. One of my husband’s best friend’s daughter got married. We got to hang out in a beautiful setting, celebrate a lovely young couples commitment, dance a little, and catch up with folks we hadn’t seen in a bit.
We are chatting at the table before the toasts, and our friend Laura pipes up and says “you won’t believe what Buzz did.” Of course we were on the edge of our seats to hear the latest escapade of one of my husbands oldest friends. Buzz is a big guy, bald, tattooed–Old Rocker who is in charge of a very large music venue in Texas. He’s hob knobbed with major headliners. He considers himself to be like Howard Stern in how he likes to shock people with the outrageous. So we couldn’t wait to hear the story.
Turns out they were in a grocery store, and Buzz likes to play practical jokes on Laura when they are at the store. He stalks her, sneaks up and grabs her butt. She knows it’s going to happen and plays along.
This particular day at the “Piggly Wiggly” didn’t turn out as Buzz planned. He stalked his prey, sneaked up on her and realized mid-grab……he had the wrong fanny!
In horror, the apologies spewed, and Buzz took off in search of his wife, dragged her over to the offended party and demanded that Laura tell them that she was his wife, and that’s he’s not a perve.
He’s kinda lucky he’s not in jail, but we have been laughing about his situation for 2 days now.
I think Laura is having some fun at her husbands folly, I know we did. I can’t remember laughing so hard.
Author’s note: Some of the names have been changed to protect the embarrassed, but this is the story relayed to me.