The kiss

I have been married a long time.  I’ve had the opportunity to kiss my husband thousands of times. Do I still kiss him with my eyes?  Hmm. I’m not sure.  Something to think about. 

I’m not talking about Romance.  I’m talking about routine Maintenance in a practical sense.   You don’t drive a car without changing the oil, rotating the tires, or keeping the brakes working.   Is The Kiss the basic maintenance of a marriage?

Being of a certain age and being together with my husband for so very long, the kiss….. unless exercised can get a bit dull.  It could seize up completely. The peck, or perfunctory smooch… has its functions.  I’m not a teenager. It’s not about the slobbering, sloppy, silly, stuff.   I’m speaking of The Kiss. 

 I’m starting an experiment. I miss The Kiss. The seductive, knee buckling, spine tingling, ‘wow’ kiss. The one where we tried harder?  The kiss of intention.  The claiming kiss.  The kiss of promise, passion, and commitment.  The Kiss when we meant it to express our care and desire for one another.

I’m reinstating the flirt.  Why?  Isn’t that where we started?  Introduction, assessment, inquiry, conversation, and instigation?  Too technical, I know, but that’s how it breaks down.  You meet, you look, you talk, then you try (go out, hang out, text, whatever).  I want to try harder.  I want to rekindle the maintenance and management of us.  Anything can go bad if your don’t take care of it.  I’m going to start taking better care.

  I’m focusing on how great is his smile.  How broad his shoulders, how strong his arms.  How he laughs.  What makes him laugh?  How can I touch his arm?  How can I make him feel wonderful, appreciated, cared for, wanted?  Would he hold me in those strong arms?  How can I dress for him?  Am I my best for him?  Does he still want me?

People try so hard to impress, dress, speak, and act to attract a stranger.  Why shouldn’t we maintain those things for the ones we’ve committed our lives to….Whom we’ve professed our love for….those?

Tonight, invited my husband out on a date in a very flirtatious manner. I might even let him kiss me at the door when we say goodnight.

Cheers to the Kiss, and to reacquainting flirtation and fun to an old romance.  Cheers to some old fashion maintenance.

My husband and I have been friends and lovers for over 25 years, we don’t have to be “old” about it.  

11 thoughts on “The kiss

  1. I loved this post! Fantastic. I think you’re exactly right. Avoiding complacency while remembering why you’re together in the first place are essential. Regular date nights, weekend getaways, flirting across a room of people, touching her knee under the table at a dinner party, surprising her still, laughing together. It’s all maintenance….but shouldn’t feel like work. Have fun! I’m sure all those things you just listed will have his game stepping up too. 😃

  2. I love this! Sometimes we get so comfortable in a day to day of our relationship we forget the passion!! Passion. That amazing hot and steamy feeling that we could not get enough of. I love that you invited him on a date and brought back flirting. Please keep posted how it works out moving forward.

  3. You say “People try so hard to impress, dress, speak, and act to attract a stranger.” I agree and I’ll take it a step further. We sometimes treat those we don’t even know better than our spouses. Here’s an example: watch a couple arguing when the phone rings. How do they respond to the person on the other end of the phone? With an immediate politeness shift! I think your ideas sound great for a marriage. Have fun!

  4. When my spouse and I look into each other’s eyes, give each other an unexpected hug or reach for the other’s hand while just “being” together, usually just lounging around the house, we often say to each other “Now it’s just you and me kid” knowing that it’s more than enough for each of us to know the other is nearby and happy doing what he/she has wanted to do for a long time, before actually having the free time to do it. Passionate kisses happen less frequently, and on my part it’s because I don’t like his beer breath. That changes when he diets before doctor’s visits and would probably improve over time anyway if/when I regain some flexibility after hip replacement due to arthritis. Bottom line, as long as both parties are happily aging together, it’s OK if the passion cools a bit. It takes a lot of energy to stoke those fires, you know!

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