More change

It isn’t like I thought would be all roses.  But I didn’t think I’d lose them all.

I lost them all.

The last one met me yesterday to let me know they were going on without me…for the best for them.  They would be perpetually going on without me.

So, after they all bailed on me for our trip to the Dallas Arboretum.  Our original trip was for 10/15.  One by one. They all had a really lame excuse.  I continued to reach out.  To stay connected the last couple weeks.  I finally got a response.

The messenger was nervous.  Her hands shook.  They were moving on without me to the place I introduced them.  They are going next week, mid week, without me…to my place the Dallas Arboretum.  She felt a bit guilty for that, as it was my idea…but “so what”?

They would be continually moving on.  They had other priorities.  

I don’t know when I’ve lost so many people in such a short period of time….all women, all who were supposed to be my friends.  The ultimate result of “so what?”

There are days when I sincerely dislike women.  Groups of women who cling together instead of having individual thought. But how did This happen?   I thought I had a better insight, a better creep-o-meter?  

The unintended consequences of “so what”.

Today, I am grasping for gratitude.  So I go back to the basics.

I’m grateful for life and breath, a husband who loves me beyond measure, beautiful sons, bees, a new job.

So I send my former friends off with appreciation for supporting me over the last year.

I wish I still fit in, but I send you off with all my best. 

Onward we go.

16 thoughts on “More change

  1. Ah coincidence… I recently had a conversation with my bud, Kevin about struggling with my female friendships. Why is it so hard sometimes? Competition maybe? You’re not alone, anyway, if that is some comfort.

  2. Stick with the basics Wendy, to who and what really matters. In the end, as hard as it may seem now, that’s what will count. Being true to yourself. Hugs and warmest wishes to you. xo

  3. Before I comment, I need a clarification. Did the messenger say that they were going to the Arboretum without you or did she say they were moving on without you (in their circle of friends) or did it feel like they were moving on without you because they chose to go at a time you couldn’t in spite of your efforts to make this special field trip happen for everyone? Each holds a special pain.

    • She started with they were going to the Arboretum without me, that she felt sort of bad about it, then moved into that they were just moving on.
      The 3 of them all live on the same cul-de-sac.

      I feel sort of stupid to have not seen the signs earlier.

  4. Don’t beat yourself up because you look for the best in others. I’m sorry this has happened to you again, but, honestly, these women don’t deserve you as a friend. The way they are acting reminds me of middle school girls. It’s good they revealed themselves before you invested any more time and energy in the friendship. They deserve what they will get–each other. You deserve someone better, and like your new job, a new friend will find you at the right time.

    Meanwhile, your statement of gratitude is good, and it reminds me that it was about the same time that I started following your blog that you made gratitude your word (and attitude) for the coming year, which turned out to be a tough year. You made it a positive year, I know you will continue to count your blessings in the upcoming year, and I pray you will have peace about this situation.

  5. A fundamental truth I have found is that women are bitches. I have been made to feel like that more than once because I am not terribly conformist (red hair, tattoos, a motorbike) and have reached a point where I have loads of female acquaintances but few female friends, and I have found that I am happy. My kids, my husband, my family, my work, my craft, these are the things that make me happy and don’t make me feel bad or stupid or alone. You’re a good person. Don’t let other peoples short-sightedness take that away from you xx

    • Excellent.
      I hear you loud and clear.
      My downfall is I keep trying, and I’ve proven over and over again that most females are group thinking twats, and if they come in a group, run.

      These gals served an important purpose for their time, and when I changed, they couldn’t/wouldn’t accept me further.
      Their loss.

      I ride a Harley Dyna Street Bob. What are you riding? How long?

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