My rear view mirror.

I had a dream about my mother, so I went back in time and found the post that I wrote after her death.

I’ve learned the most of what I don’t what to be from my parents. If you have good parents, love them up, and never let them go.

Ramblings and Musings

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The thing about organized religion, and religious people, they mean well, they just don’t always have all the facts.

As Paul Harvey used to say….”now for the rest of the story.”

The funeral today for my mother was filled with the “dereguerre” of songs, scripture, tears, and well wishes.

I should have known that there was a final “shoe” left to drop. It dropped at the graveside.

My mother left this world with her dissatisfaction, criticism, and complaints of me on her lips. Not just to her friends, but to her pastor in her directions to him regarding her funeral.

I had rationalized as a cancer patient tends to lash out at those they care for at the end. My mothers issues have always been consistent for the last 35 years. I should have known better than to join the rationalization party.

The final good bye at the gravesite, and…

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16 thoughts on “My rear view mirror.

  1. I just read your other post Wendy, sounds as though her funeral was a hard time for you as was your life with her. I’m sorry that she wasn’t the mother she should have been for you. You, on the other hand, sounds like an amazing inspirational woman with strength and courage in your heart. I send you warm wishes and hugs.

    • Thanks ma’am. I hesitate to post negative messages. But if I can help someone appreciate their parents, or let someone know that they are a good parent, then I hope I can help with the experiences I’ve had.

      • Oh, absolutely, Wendy. You know, it takes these sorts of experiences to really make us appreciate the positive ones and what we have in our lives. Never hesitate when it’s part of who you are. Take care. xo

      • We all have our moments and you’re not a downer. Doesn’t it feel better to release it in your blog? I know I always feel better when I write it out and then all of your wonderful people uplift me with your encouragement! XOXO

      • It is really the best support I’ve ever had. I’m a little afraid to spoil it. Everyone has been so spectacular, I’m a little scared I will ruin it.

  2. Both posts were difficult reads, but I appreciate the openness of your heart. Forgiveness is hard and more important for the forgiver. So many deal with difficult pasts. I am glad you are not just a survivor but an overcomer. I understand that the pain is still there, but you are making good choices in surrounding yourself with positive people and in deciding NOT to follow the pattern of negativity that was ever present in your childhood. May you be blessed with peace and love each and every day of your life.

  3. My mom always say i will understand many things when i will be a mom or that i am selfish by doing what i want (i want to move from my country). I love her so much, i know she loves me too, but it’s hard to understand how somebody so close can stop you from doing what you want. So many times I told her that i am not happy at all and i want you try and the answer was how can i be so selfish. I feel bad, i really do, but still i will do, this is my life. These minds came to my head after reading your sensitive and touchable post. You can’t change other other people, but also i think it is wrong to do anything just because people except it from you 🙂

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