The thing about organized religion, and religious people, they mean well, they just don’t always have all the facts.
As Paul Harvey used to say….”now for the rest of the story.”
The funeral today for my mother was filled with the “dereguerre” of songs, scripture, tears, and well wishes.
I should have known that there was a final “shoe” left to drop. It dropped at the graveside.
My mother left this world with her dissatisfaction, criticism, and complaints of me on her lips. Not just to her friends, but to her pastor in her directions to him regarding her funeral.
I had rationalized as a cancer patient tends to lash out at those they care for at the end. My mothers issues have always been consistent for the last 35 years. I should have known better than to join the rationalization party.
The final good bye at the gravesite, and the preacher decides to “interfere” (yes, that was his word) and preach at me on why my mother didn’t want me around her. He was full of rhetoric of my mother’s loving spirit, generosity, tenacity, and joy. He was tearful as he talked about how she cared so much for her caregivers and concern over their ability to work after she passed. What would they do when she was gone?
He never said a word about how much she loved her family. He never said a word about her grandchildren, siblings, nieces, nephews, or children.
The funeral director Roy asked me if we would like to stay while the grave was lowered into the ground. I said “yes”. My brother was not comfortable, but agreed to stay with me till the end. All of the family ended up staying, they weren’t happy with watching the coffin lowering into the ground.
Just the family was at the graveside service. 1 uncle, 2 cousins, 2 sons, 1 brother, my husband, other spouses for some. A small gathering of those who saw it through till the end.
As the technicians began the process of lowering the casket, I alone stood up.
The last tribute to my mother. I took my stand in respect. I let the preacher hug me before he left. I raised my hand to the sky and waived.
I know you are not in the ground.
I know what you instructed the preacher to do. He warned me that he would say what you instructed, I forgive you. The fact that I have remained in your life, and stood by your grave is a living testimony of the power of forgiveness and the love of Christ in my life.
It is amazing what most people miss….even if it is right in front of them.
Today I am grateful for the people who know me, get me, love me, correct me, and hang in there as I come off this long roller coaster ride.