I’m not sure how you roll, but I don’t like to argue. In fact, it takes quite a bit of provocation to get me engaged in a full blown argument, for many reasons. Primarily because I tend to terrify people who don’t recognize my strength, and push me too far. When I let it go, it is powerful, terrible, and destructive. So I work hard not to scare people. It’s just not worth the wreakage. Most people are too frail to ever get over my wrath, and they exit my life forever. That is a high cost. I wish I could master the art of constructive confrontation. I strive, and it eludes me still. Confrontation is a fact of life, and there are times when it is necessary, I just wish. It wouldn’t warp into the inevitable argument.
The secondary reason is the afterwards. The analyzation of what was said, what should have been said, what points were valid, what were worthless. The “why” of it all. No one ever really wins a real argument, unless there is genuine affection, and true respect between those arguing, and a meeting of the minds comes about. Facing facts of my circumstances, that rarely happens. The people who respect me rarely argue with me, not because because I’m right or wrong, but we are always genuinely communicating, so we make amendments to our course during any verbal journey, and end up in a content harbor.
Arguments come about not just from misunderstanding, but often it is willful contempt for the other party. It can be confrontation spurred from mutual contempt, but sometimes can be spurred through one sided contempt, and no other course of action can be sustained, AKA you stand up for yourself in situations when necessary.
The challenge, since I’m argument adverse, is letting go afterward. When I saw this quote, I realized how important letting go is for me especially. Maybe for everyone.
So if anything is bothering you today, let go, if you can do it, let it go. Cast your care. We are not meant to carry the stress of the aftershocks of argument. We are designed to live, not carry any sort of death that stress brings.
So I’m taking my deep breaths, I’m casting my care of my situation, and speaking words of peace and forgiveness outloud, every time an aftershock rears it’s head in my thoughts. I keep envisioning myself at the end of that rope, bashing myself against the obstacles as I’m dragged along by the wayward ballon of hot air, that is “the argument”.
Peace my friends. Any useful tips on how you deal with the aftershock of the argument, please share.