Recurring dreams…

Generally I don’t dream, or I don’t remember my sleeping dreams. On the cusp of my last career, I’m dreaming every night, all night. It’s very weird. I wake up at 11 pm, 12:30 am, 1:45 am, 3:17 am, 4:40 am, 5:20 am, and I’m trying to get out of the same dream for the last 4 nights.

I’ve dreamt that I’m in a very large structure, either a mall, concert venue, office building or hotel, in each dream I’ve had to help someone find their way, but I failed each time. The last one, was the hotel, and I had to find my way to a store outside the hotel, but I had to go through the hotel to find it. My husband ended up in this one, and we ended up in a huge fight. I had to find my way out on my own.

My bed has turned into a restless place, and my sleep into an unfriendly void. I’m not a girl who can go without her sleep. I get really cranky.

I’m going to stay up late to make sure that I can avoid some of the weird dreams. Tomorrow is the big day……I’m very ready for this new step into this final phase of my career.

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Recurring Visions

You hear all the regular schpiel on vision, goals, resolutions, etc. Most of its good, some of it’s rote.

I take some of it seriously, and work toward creating a vision for myself…..the older I get, the more my vision becomes one of me driving a cool old truck, living somewhere rural, and wearing blue jeans every day.

Seriously, the longer I go in the big-city, corporate, 5 year plan, do it faster, better world, the more I see myself driving a pickup, raising dogs, and living in the country. Hmmm. 50 is having a profound effect.

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Knotty Thoughts Untied.

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When my mind gets jumbled up in the ‘should have’, ‘must do’, ‘why’, and ‘what the hell’ knots; it gets pretty difficult to sleep.

I’ve always been too hard on myself.  It gets really old sometimes.  So I got to make the Executive decision to give myself a break from the defeating self talk that snuck into my sleep tonight.  

I found myself analyzing the ‘why’ of something that’s not even my business and I realized the stupidity of such wonderings.  So fellow bloggers, and lovely friends who put up with my ramblings, I’m seated at my computer at about midnight and listing the things I’m grateful for.  Earlier, I went through some old pictures, and smiled at fond memories.  I took some time and made sure to thank God for all the goodness he has brought to my life.  I petted the puppies, and made special thanks for them.  I visited the blogs I like to read, and looked at some beautiful artwork.  I played with my new phone, as I’m still learning about it.  

Sometimes it’s hard to reign myself in when my mind starts tumbling through knotty thoughts, but I think Emerson’s quote sums up how to untie them before they get too jumbled.  

Live in the Sunshine.—don’t let things get too dark, focus on the good.  Count your blessings.

Swim in the Sea.—do things you love to do.

Drink the Wild Air.—find some adventure.

Changing my mind, one thought at a time

Thoughts are powerful. Spoken thoughts are a thousand times more powerful.

I’ve had some time to examine my thoughts, and decided to get rid of some junk. “Garbage in, Garbage out.” Right?

I’ve had fun playing with my new phone. I could have given up on it, but I pushed through and got it working the way I want it.

I found this week that some texting buddies aren’t great at responding once their initial curiosity has been satisfied. In my way of thinking…they don’t get a response in the future. There is nothing more frustrating than someone texting with a question. You answer and ask them a question, and all you get is silence. What’s that all about?

I had to take control of my imagination this week, and replace some garbage thoughts with something better.

I’m a good friend. I respond right away when a friend reaches out. I reach out instead letting my friends always reach to me. I take care of my friends. My focus with my friends is to celebrate them, and be a blessing.

So, what is the point? I’m grateful today for understanding the difference between a texting buddy and a friend. I’m grateful for the power to choose my thoughts. I’m grateful for my good friends. I’m grateful that I got to learn something new. I’m grateful for good books, good blogs, and the good fuel I need to put good things in my mind.

The lessons of watching my thoughts and words are always timely, always appreciated. I’m grateful for lessons, reminders, and opportunities to build some skills

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I gave up my iPhone!

The joys and woes of technology.  To iPhone or not to iPhone, that was the question as I made my way through the various carriers, plans, options, and choices for cell phones.

I did promise myself that I would learn something new this year.  Well, I am definitely learning now.  I got a Samsung, and I really like it, but it doesn’t talk nice to my other Mac devices.  I’ve downloaded the software so that my Mac Mini will talk to the little Samsung sweetie, but something is lost in translation.  All of my music and podcasts are eagerly awaiting the Samsung to sync up with my Mac, but it just won’t.  I’ve tried all the configurations for the wireless, bluetooth, and tried the USB cord, Nada!

So much for learning something new on my own.  I’ll have to seek the assistance of the professionals….yippee.

I’m grateful for the learning experience.  I’m grateful for the technology that has come along to give us such awesome choices.  Now, I just need to find that professional that can tell me what I’m missing so that my Samsung sweetie will accept the music and podcasts that my Mac Mini would like to transfer to it.  I just need to yell a little bit so I don’t take my frustration out on the tech guy.

 

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Rising a little higher

I’ve had a couple of weeks to do some serious soul searching after wrapping up an odd and disappointing 2013. I won’t say that it was a bad year. It was a year of challenges big and small. It was a year of change. It was a year of learning.

What can I do with this new found experience to make 2014 better? My desire for 2014 is to be an encourager. Not a resolution or goal per se, but a firm desire to improve overall, continuing on my path of cultivating gratitude, and generally improving the atmosphere around me.

It’s a really cool thing to give someone a boost, emotionally, socially, or professionally. Lift someone up today, and see yourself soar.

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Books, books, lovely books.

I’m in a bit of a debate right now. EBook vs Physical book, which provides a superior experience?

I lean towards the real book, but it is more difficult to read after dark, you have to have a good reading light.

When I read, I read till my eyes blur, and I’m sleep deprived. I’ve really been enjoying Vince Flynn recently. His style is a perfect combination of action, adventure, suspence, mystery, and technology. The good guys are flawed (Mitch Rapp is superior to 007 in my humble opinion) and the bad guys are really bad.

This weekend I thought I’d switch gears and read Suzanne Collins Hunger Games series. It was easy reading, but very enjoyable. I was able to finish all three books while the boys were away for the final hunting weekend of deer season. The Hunger Games movies can’t begin to portray all of the details, and left out some characters, but they stayed true to the spirit of the novels. I won’t begin to start my complaints on Peter Jackson’s changes to the Hobbit in the Desolation of Smaug, but it was his movie. His changes inspired me to re-read the Hobbit. That was fun. It was required reading in my 7th grade English class, and I’ve been a Tolkien fan ever since.

Now I’m on the hunt for something new. I love the movie that a good book brings to my mind. Getting entrenched in a story is a wonderful escape from a dreary South Texas winter weekend.

I’m open to suggestions. What are you reading? Ebook, or real book? Let me know!

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Happy New Year!

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Is this true?  I’m not sure…..but it’s made me think.

I realize that this type of statement is very contrary to the goal setting-resolution traditions of starting a new year, but this got me thinking.  I’m not against a provocative statement to stir things up.

What are my expectations for 2014?  How do I separate my expectations from my goals?  Why would an expectation turn to resentment?  

I expect to be happy, and I generally am.  I expect to have good days, and generally I do.  I expect to wake up, work hard, and move forward.  What I have noticed is that unhappiness comes from expecting from others, and that can be a recipe for disaster.  Especially if they don’t know what’s expected.  Why put that pressure on someone?  

I had to do some soul searching,  Am I expecting too much of my family?  Am I expecting too much from my friends?  Have I put pressure on those I love through expectations instead of reasonable requests, open communication, and respectful dialogue?  How do I respond to the pressure of expectations from others?

I didn’t like my answers to most of those questions.  

So, in 2014 I think the main goal I will set for myself, is not to ‘expect’ things from other people, but I will be grateful for everything.  I will have to measure that by checking up on myself.

Since starting this blog last April, my goal was to cultivate gratitude.  I’ve found so much to be thankful for.  The richness of this life is beyond compare, especially the simple things.  

I’m so grateful for 2014, my family, my friends, my health, and most of all my faith.  Focusing on gratitude gives me so much more to be grateful for, it just grows and grows. I’m grateful for your kindness in reading my blog, getting my 2 am email notifications of a new post, and sharing your comments with me.  

My wish for you is that 2014 is the best year for you.  May all that you touch be blessed.