Don’t you hate it when you realize, it’s your own fault?

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I learn more from my mistakes than anything else. I know where my faults lie, and it’s humbling when I don’t know if I have what it takes. What’s more humbling is when I have to tear down the walls I’ve built myself, because I’ve built them on lies and manipulative people’s speeches to me while they wanted me to behave a certain way. I chose to believe the lies. It’s my fault.

In my search to cultivate gratitude, I’ve found a new one. I’m grateful today for the newly exposed wall that I get to tear down. The “I can’t” wall. It’s coming down. I know that there is not much in me that wasn’t put there by my creator. I have the grand honor to tear down the doubt, the self reliance, and lean totally on the one who said “I am”. Let’s go!

Two weeks into the diet

Well….I really hesitated in writing about the latest in my multiple attempts to lose weight. I hate gaining it back, because I gain back plus some every time. It’s a pain, and I’m determined to change my fate.

It is a time of stress from many levels for me, so I wasn’t sure if I could do a two week low cal, low carb, high exercise routine, but I’m in day 13 and so far I’ve kept it up. I know a weight loss regimen is working if my husband notices. He did! I was shocked. He even gave me some awesome encouragement.

I’m not sure how long I can keep this going…I love my carbs. We had Chinese last night, and I was on a day where I could eat rice. Needless to say, I ate the whole box of rice that came with my Garlic Chicken. I picked out every grain. And I enjoyed it!

My results so far is 7 pounds lost, 1 inch off my waist, and my legs have benefitted from the high-kick to lunge to sprint routine I’ve implemented on the dog walks. Nothing like improved muscle tone to make a girl smile. I’m up to 7 sets of twenty with 1 minute sprints. My goal is to get to 10 sets by Wednesday. 23 pounds to go, but I’m on my way.

The produce from the garden has made the flavors come alive. If I’m going to eat cottage cheese and like it without strawberry jam, I need really good tomatoes. I’m grateful for Great tomatoes. I’m looking at sugar calories in a new light. The headaches from the sugar withdrawal are lessening.

Monday I start a new chapter in my life, and I’m nervous, excited, and a bit like a kid on Christmas Eve wondering how things will work out.

I’m grateful today for encouraging words, great friends, a new pair of jeans (size awesome) and the new chapter I will be announcing soon.

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What to do now!

What to do now!

I’ve got a lunch meeting in two hours. I reach in the closet, tear open the dry cleaning bag, jacket-check, blouse-check, slacks….slacks….slacks….SLACKS!

Where are my suit pants? I check the receipt, 2 piece suite, one ladies blouse. I check the back, 2 hangers, my pants are gone.

I have to go back to the dry cleaners, find someone who speaks English and find my pants.

Breathing deeply….Breathing deeply, getting dizzy.

Plan B. Where’s my black dress? Does it fit? Where’s the belt? Black dress–check. Fit—check check! Belt–Check! Hallelujah!

I’ll confront the dry cleaners after the meeting. I’m not going in all stressed out.

I’m grateful for Plan B’s in my life. I’m grateful the dress still fits. I’m grateful that I had a choice in what to wear today. I’m grateful for the still voice that reminded me a dry-cleaner confrontation could wait.

Keep your vision straight

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Quit looking around at what other’s have, or how they look. Enjoy where you are with what you have! Kick up your heels and dance with joy over how fabulous you are!

Here’s my personal experience with my struggles with comparison. It’s not exhaustive, by any means, but it is most recent.

I worked out with a personal trainer for a few months last year. I hated working out in the gym with all the fab bods running about showing off their toned selves. I hated all the mirrors in that place, especially when I would leave the gym red faced, sweating, and exhausted. My trainer noticed that when we would set up for whatever station we were starting, I would close my eyes while I completed the session. He figured out what I was doing. That trainer made me look at myself, he would make me watch every move I made until I could see myself, instead of everyone around me. He’d make me see the improvements, he’d encourage me to keep going, and he would remind me of how I was getting stronger. I came to enjoy working out till my pony-tail would drip with sweat.

I’ve made some peace with my reflection. I’m not where I want to be yet, but I know that looking around and comparing myself to others, I’m cheating myself out of my own joy in improving my health and well being. I have to be the best me I can be.

Summer Bounty

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It may not officially be summer, but here in South Texas we start our tomatoes in March to beat the heat of July. The good news is, we get our tomatoes early. The bad news is, the plants give up by mid-July.

These lovely tomatoes are Better Boy variety. They are gorgeous, juicy, full flavored, slightly sweet, and quite large. Not as big as a Beef Steak tomato, but darn close. I wish you could feel the weight. They are heavy for their size.

These darlings were part of cucumber and onion salad, just a bit of salt and organic apple cider vinegar.

I’m grateful for the time and energy put into the garden to produce these. So many people take for granted the food they see in the store. It is worth the effort to prepare the beds, plant, water, and weed. These are the glorious rewards.

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Busted

Do you have a phrase you use often? Do you have a habit that your family teases you about?

For my husband, we call it “speaking Dave”. He can utilize the word “deal” for anything that he is trying to describe. Sometimes he quits talking, and just sputters and points, and we are supposed to understand what he’s looking for. For example, we’ll be outside and he will be looking toward the back of the yard and he’ll say “look at that deal”….we get to guess if its vegetable, animal, or mineral, high, low, living or dead. It can be challenging.

Well…with turn about being fair play and all…he got me back. I was quite surprised that I was so predictable. Maybe I thought my vocabulary was larger, or that I had a better command of the language, I don’t know. He got me on two words I use. At least my vocabulary is larger than his!

We were finishing dinner and he was doing something annoying. I opened my mouth to comment, and he jumped in and said in his teasing sarcastic voice “charming”. And he drew out the word, like I do, and smiled. I snapped my jaws shut. He smiled bigger and said “or were you going to call me a ‘toad”?

He proceeded to remind me those were my signature words of disdain, how often I used them, and in what context I would use them.

What a toad. I was busted. Charming man, I will have to get him back!

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